Directed by Stewart Hendler
Written by Josh Stolberg, Pete Goldfinger and Mark Rosman
Rated R for bloody violence, language, some sexuality/nudity and partying.
A remake of the 1983 slasher flick "House on Sorority Row" (which I unfortunately haven't seen), "Sorority Row" is another of several recent revivals of 80's horror franchises. With the remakes of "Halloween", "Friday the 13th", and "Nightmare on Elm Street" already out or in the works, some enterprising filmmakers have taken on lesser-known films to remake. I tried to watch the recent remake of "Prom Night", but it was too bad. REALLY BAD!!! I've seen better acting in movies-of-the-week. It's the first horror movie in nearly a decade that I've turned off without finishing. Luckily for me, "Sorority Row" is not a "Prom Night" style remake. Done with style and good humor, this self-aware horror flick redefines the slasher genre for a new generation of horror audiences.
The film starts with an epic sorority party, complete with horny jocks, women on trampolines (with their butts hanging out of their old-school pajama flaps) and lots and lots of alcohol. The senior sisters of Theta Pi, (left to right: Jessica, Megan, Claire, Cassidy, Ellie and Chugs) meet in an upstairs room to have a celebratory toast. But celebration isn't the only item on the menu. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and no one serves it colder than sorority girls. To get back at Megan's ex-boyfriend Garrett (who is also Chug's brother) for cheating on her, the girls have given him a "roofie" (really a vitamin) to give to Megan. Megan pretends to choke and Garrett freaks out, convinced she's dead. The girls add to his panic, giving cruelly realistic performances of grief over their friend's "death".
Garrett and the girls pack Megan into a car to drive somewhere to get rid of "the body". Megan has trouble keeping from giggling while playing dead. The not-so-funny joke becomes even less funny when Garrett drives a tire iron into the supposedly-dead Megan's chest (to remove trapped air so the body won't float to the surface when they dump it), killing her for real. At this point Cassidy (the most heroic and moral Theta Pi sister) insists that they go to the police, but bitch-queen Jessica insists that Megan would not have wanted the sisters to ruin their futures over a tragic accident that they cannot undo. The other sisters wrap Megan's body in Cassidy's jacket (so that if she goes to the police, she will implicate herself), and dumps it down an abandoned mine shaft.
Jump ahead 8 months. Graduation is just around the corner and the girls of Theta Pi are gearing up for a legendary year-end sorority party. Cassidy has grown away from Theta Pi since the accident, but still plans to show support for the other girls by coming to their last party as sorority sisters. But just as the festivities approach, the girls start receiving eerie picture and video messages from Megan's phone (which was with her body when they dumped it in the mine shaft). They immediately suspect Garrett, who has had serious psychological problems since the accident, but Chugs assures them that her brother (while not a great guy) would not joke about Megan's death. To make things more complicated, Megan's little sister Maggie is planning to rush for Theta Pi in the fall, and insists on coming to the year-end party to meet her sister's friends.
Convinced not to let the ominous phone messages ruin the biggest party of the year, the sisters of Theta Pi get into celebration mode. The party begins and sorority row is stormed by hundreds of drunken, horny graduates. The girls become worried when Chugs never shows up. As the night wears on, more people disappear, and the girls begin to catch glimpses of a black-hooded figure carrying a "tricked-out" tire iron. As the party starts to thin out, the girls begin finding bodies. In classic 80's slasher-flick style, there is no indication of who or what is behind the killings. Is it Mrs. Crenshaw (played by Carrie Fisher), the house-mum whose had enough of her girls' whoring ways? Is it Jessica's boyfriend, the son of a senator who sees Jessica and her friends as potential threats to his political campaign? Is it Garrett, the boy who was cruelly pranked, resulting in Megan's tragic death?
I give "Sorority Row" an 8/10. It's a tightly-woven, self-aware horror flick that takes gruesome delight in the torturous murder of vain, self-involved, oversexed college kids. It's what my mom would call a "dead teenager movie". Think "I Know What You Did Last Summer" only less sucky, with better death scenes and a more evolved sense of dark humor. If you shy away from slasher flicks, you probably won't get much out of this, but fans of the genre will appreciate it's modern twist on classic horror. The death scenes are creatively brutal, and the twists are predictable yet generally satisfying. A good popcorn flick for a lazy weekend evening.
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Convinced not to let the ominous phone messages ruin the biggest party of the year, the sisters of Theta Pi get into celebration mode. The party begins and sorority row is stormed by hundreds of drunken, horny graduates. The girls become worried when Chugs never shows up. As the night wears on, more people disappear, and the girls begin to catch glimpses of a black-hooded figure carrying a "tricked-out" tire iron. As the party starts to thin out, the girls begin finding bodies. In classic 80's slasher-flick style, there is no indication of who or what is behind the killings. Is it Mrs. Crenshaw (played by Carrie Fisher), the house-mum whose had enough of her girls' whoring ways? Is it Jessica's boyfriend, the son of a senator who sees Jessica and her friends as potential threats to his political campaign? Is it Garrett, the boy who was cruelly pranked, resulting in Megan's tragic death?
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